Recent Etiquette + Advice Posts
Photo by Melissa McCrotty Photography
We received so many etiquette questions last week, and wanted to do our best to answer them all. So every week, we’ll answer one of your queries.
Heather asks (via Facebook): I am 8 weeks into a new job, and my invitations go out today. I work for the CEO of a startup, and we share an office. He’s very kind and fun to be around, he knows when we are getting married and is excited for us. So, I feel like I should invite him (and his wife and child) to our wedding; but I also feel like I may be overstepping. Do I invite their family or not? Should I wait another four weeks and then decide? What is the right way to do this?
There are lots of ways to answer this question, but here’s our rule of thumb: Only invite those from your workplace who you are friends with outside of the office. So if you’re not hanging out with your boss and his family outside of work hours, you should probably steer clear of inviting him to your wedding – it’s likely he would decline the invitation anyway. We don’t think he’ll be insulted, but if for some reason he asks why he wasn’t invited, just say that you’re keeping the guest list to close family and friends. But just to be safe, try to avoid chatting about your wedding too much at work – you don’t want anyone to assume they’ll be invited.
Do you have etiquette questions for us? Send them our way via email, Facebook, Twitter, or in the comments section!
Photo by Carolina Studios by Gillian Reinhardt
Thank you so much for submitting your etiquette questions to us! We received a bunch of queries, and because the WeddingWire team wants to help clear up any wedding-related drama in your lives, we’ll continue to answer a question a week for the next few weeks. Feel free to continue submitting questions to us via Facebook, Twitter, email, or the comments below. We’ll try to answer as many of your tough etiquette questions as we can! Here’s today’s Q&A:
Courtney asks (via comments): What’s the proper etiquette on rehearsal dinner invitations? Can we include the rehearsal dinner invite in the bundle with our wedding invitation (obviously, only adding that in for the people invited to the rehearsal dinner)? We’ve heard it’s a great way to save some money, but we’ve also heard it’s tacky to not send them a separate invite. Thoughts?
We usually recommend sending out rehearsal dinner invitations under separate cover, especially if there are two different parties hosting the separate events. For example, if your parents are paying for the wedding and your spouse-to-be’s parents are handling the rehearsal dinner, there should be two invitations. Also, if you do include the rehearsal dinner invitation with the wedding invitation, your guests may think everyone is invited to the night-before celebration which can cause confusion. So, bottom line: To be on the safe side, keep the invitations separate.
Photo by Christina Watkins Photography
Today, we’re discussing bridal showers, cash gifts, a break between the ceremony and reception, and more…
Sarah asks (via Facebook): I have an etiquette question for bridal showers. I have family members who live out of state and do not expect to travel for my shower (especially some older family members) and I do not want them to feel obligated to send a gift. However, I want them to know that I am thinking about them and would love them to be included. Do I include them on the guest list I’m sending my bridesmaids who are hosting the shower?
Yes! Like we mentioned yesterday, an invitation isn’t just a material item – it’s a symbol of the fact that you want your family and friends to attend and are thinking of them – regardless of if they can actually make it. And if they do choose to send you a gift, just be sure to show your appreciation with a warm, handwritten thank-you note. You never know, some of them may end up attending!
Photo by Paul Rich Studio
Today, we’re tackling some tough issues – from not having a wedding registry to handling uninvited guests. Read on to see how we responded to these reader queries:
Jean asks (via Facebook): If the bride and groom are staying at the same venue as the reception, at what time is it appropriate for them to “leave” the party?
Once the bride and groom leave the reception, the party is technically over – and guests will start exiting as well. So to avoid any confusion, the couple should stay at their wedding until the band or DJ stops playing. Of course, if there’s an after party planned, the couple can keep partying long after the reception technically “ends.” Remember, your guests are there to celebrate you and your new spouse – so stay until the bitter end!
Photo by King Street Studios
Yesterday, we asked you to send us your burning etiquette questions, and all this week, we’ll be answering them! Today, we’ll discuss hosting a ceremony and reception in the same room, dealing with stepparents, and letting guests know about your registries.
Carey asks (via Facebook): The venue where we our having our ceremony and reception is one large room. Is it proper etiquette to ask people to sit at the reception tables during the ceremony or should I try to separate the space into ceremony and reception?
This isn’t so much of an etiquette issue as a stylistic one. There isn’t anything wrong with asking guests to sit at tables during the ceremony (as long as everyone is comfortable and can see the proceedings). However, we think it’s best to create a different environment between the ceremony and reception. Is it possible for you to divide the room? Or to create a more traditional ceremony space, host cocktail hour in a different part of the venue, and re-stage the room for the reception? Find out what other couples who married in the space have done – and ask for photos – to help you make an informed decision.